Like Dia and Lucy, Yin additionally noticed a majority cisgender white male clientele. They view the “dragon woman” stereotype as one with “layered complexities.”
“I don’t need to say that I can essentially dissociate utterly from the ‘dragon woman’ stereotype, as a result of to me she is highly effective, and he or she is witchy, and he or she is magical, and she will manipulate males’s needs into cash,” Yin explains. “Hell yeah, what’s flawed with that?”
In addition they perceive the “lotus blossom” stereotype. “We now have each in us,” Yin says, making the case that like some other virgin-whore dichotomy, either side can have components of fact. In the meantime, they will harness them to coax out extra complicated feelings. “For instance, once I determine to don my internal ‘dragon woman’ for an SM session, as a substitute of being the stereotype of cruelty, I take advantage of my dominance to help the particular person out of despair or disgrace,” Yin says. “We are able to flip these experiences into one thing new and distinctive if we make use of our archetypes and steer them in a different way.”
One coincidence tying the three dommes collectively is a component of their household life: all three of their moms are divorced from their fathers, regardless that divorce was taboo within the cultures they had been introduced up in. Asian People additionally report the bottom divorce charges within the nation, with lower than one-fifth selecting authorized separation. “I don’t need to make it seem to be a pathological factor,” Yin warns. “I do know quite a lot of dommes who’ve very completely satisfied, standard households.”
The household trauma that Yin skilled of their childhood led them to hunt out BDSM as a way of life. “I got here into sexual awakening with the necessity to battle, the necessity to really feel like I’m pushing up towards energy,” Yin says. “That I’m taking part in totally different roles.” They went by phases of self-harm of their early teenage years. “I’m very a lot a sadomasochist,” Yin says.
Dia’s mom additionally skilled home violence, which led her to go away Dia’s father early on. Due to this, her mom was seen as an “untraditional and unconventional” Asian lady. “She defied quite a lot of conventions,” which Dia stated made her really feel extra snug to do the identical. “My mom felt actually helpless, however she was additionally raised by a really robust mom herself,” who fled a struggle whereas pregnant. “There’s this sort of genetic passing of energy and independence in my household.”
Lucy attributes her robust will and dominating qualities to her unbiased and dominant mom. “She was like a ‘tiger mother’ and ‘dragon woman’ smashed collectively,” Lucy jokes. “She’s type of this massive power to be reckoned with, on this four’11” physique.”
Whereas Lucy didn’t point out any abuse from her childhood, her mother and father additionally divorced. “I grew up with three actually robust girls in my life,” she says, referring to her mom and maternal grandmother, who had been Vietnam struggle refugees, and her older sister.
If their moms’ conference breaking paved the best way for Dia, Lucy, and Yin to pursue their very own unconventional existence, do they know what their kids do for a dwelling? If that’s the case, would they perceive it?
Lucy’s mom thinks she owns her personal vogue consulting firm, although her sister is aware of her actual profession. She assumes the key will come out finally.
Dia got here out to her mom, reassuring her by main the dialog with all the sensible components, like that she was “making some huge cash, very secure, supporting herself, completely satisfied…”
Again when Yin was operating their enterprise out of the Dojo, they introduced their mom in. Yin’s mother helps their endeavors, together with “Mercy Mistress,” an online sequence they’re producing about their experiences as a Chinese language American dominatrix in New York Metropolis. Their mom even contributed to the “Mercy Mistress” crowdsourcing marketing campaign. “She’s happy with me,” Yin says.